The Simple Life

Perceptions

The definitive point in which an acquaintance reaches the exclusive rank of “friend” is the point in which you identify a particular wavelength that only you and the other share. Regardless of the authenticity of this telepathic affinity, be it illusory or genuine, you will nurture a comforting zone of exclusivity. A humorous, emotional and sometimes disgusting peculiarity. One that will come to define your identity’s as friends, rather than individuals. The quality of this union of souls is dependent on time. A carefully designed predestined equation: (Soul N x Soul Y), subject to the denominator of time. Time off course being a synonym to freedom, which is a synonym of choice. Freedom that is far too valuable, and far too wholesome to be considered as a bottomless well of fortune. This all being the happy sum of computable factors.

And here is the problem. We have lost that exclusivity which we once had. Which we had taken for granted. Limited freedom is indulged in other pleasures, and the sum of our happiness has evidently suffered the consequences. So egotistical had our souls become, that forgotfullness swamped us, and we had overlooked the fact that equations are equally reversible as they are beautiful. Il m'attriste.

And now that we sleep alone, I stay awake questioning. Was our love illusory or genuine?

Je manque d'air pur, Je veux tout changer

Je Me Perds - Jena Lee

Je fais comme si tout était normal

I act like everything is normal

mais derrière mes sourires, mon regard, j'ai mal

but behind those smiles, my look, I'm hurting

Et je doute sans cesse, me délaisse, me déteste

I doubt all the time, I feel powerless, I hate myself

j'ai besoin de me tester je suis prête à risquer

I need to test myself, I am ready to risk

le peu qu'il me reste...

that little bit that is left....

Je briserai mes pensées, pour torturer mon âme

I would break my thoughts, torture my soul

Je me servirai, de ma haine comme une arme

I would use my hate like a weapon

Chorus:

Je veux tout tenter

I want to try everything

Je manque d'espace je veux tout changer

I lack space, I want to change everything

Bousculer ma vie pour mieux respirer

Stir up my life to breathe better

Faire sortir ma rage je me perds

Unleash my rage, I get lost

Je me perds, je me perds, je me blesse.

I get lost, I get lost, I hurt myself

Je veux tout tenter

I want to try everything

Je manque d'air pur je veux tout changer

I lack fresh air I want to change everything

Bousculer mon coeur pour le faire parler

Shake my heart to let it speak

Libérer mes sens je me perds

Free my senses, I get lost

Je me perds, je me perds, je me blesse.

I get lost, I hurt myself

Je fais face à mes doutes mes erreurs mais je vois

I face my doubts my mistakes but I see

qu'il n'y a plus personne en qui je crois

that there is no one left in who I believe

Je ne veux pas qu'on m'aide, qu'on m'aime

I don't want anybody to help me, to love me

Je ne ressens rien moi même

I don't feel anything myself

Vous pouvez me laisser, j'ai déjà tout risqué

You can leave me behind, I have already risked everything

j'n'ai plus rien à perdre.

I have nothing to lose

J'ai brisé celle que j'étais

I broke the person I was

pour faire saigner mes larmes

To let my tears bleed

J'ai fait de ma peine une nouvelle arme...

I turned my sentences into a new weapon...

(Chorus)

Je fais comme si tout était normal

I act like everything is normal

mais derrière mes sourires, mon regard, j'ai mal.

but behind those smiles, my look, I'm hurting

J'ai menti j'aimerais qu'on m'aid

I lied, I would like somebody to hurt me

eque quelqu'un me tende la main

That sombody extends their hand to me

même si je suis déjà loin...

even though I am already far....

(Chorus)

Spiritual Revival

There is always that one summer event that sums up your entire year. And Wednesday the 21st of July was that very day that I shall be looking back on for the rest of my life. It was perfect. I feel alive again :)

Just when you start to doubt...

The Lord of happiness will shed his/her eternal rays of kindness.

Thank you

^_^

Long distance relationships do not work.

Love is nothing more than mere habit. It is possible to love anyone. Be it an opinionated bigot, or a bimbo obsessed sheep. They are all the same. They all have hearts. They all have the willingness to provide time. That is all it is after all? Time. There are no secrets about love, or mysteries, or butterflies, or first sight wonders. No. Lies and fantasies of drunk literary experts. There is an old Arabic saying "Time is of Gold" - Gold being the most expensive and sought after metal. Those small shinning ounces that are the cause of feuds, wars, and persecutions. Days and sometimes weeks of digging, and then finally: a microscopic grain which is sold for a few pounds. Funny. And isn't that the very value of love? We all have that gold within us. All it takes is for a person to dig deep. Spend weeks, months, years, and sometimes decades. And then finally. Yes it is there. You may laugh at yourself at the end. All that effort that was once invested, and here it is: a mere smile.

عندما تنظر الى حياتك وتجد أنك لم تعش الطفوله ولم تعش المراهقه ولم تعش الحب الاول والقبله الاولى .ولم تعش النضج لانك لحد الان غير مستقل وغير حر لا ماديا ومعنويا عن اهلك .عندما تحس انك مكتئب وعمرك الف عام وتحلم بالحريه في كل شيء .فاعلم انك شرق اوسطي

Bleh.

I received a text from someone today with the claim that I had been living a “free” life this year. I didn’t bother to defend my stand, considering this to be the 89th time I have heard it being suggested.